Not another commentary on the White House Correspondents Dinner, yeah, just a short one. Cause I do have a couple things to add to the mishegoss.
I know you all heard about Michelle Wolf disparaging Press Secretary Sarah Sanders looks. Well, actually she didn’t and that’s enough of that [but wait, are we as women warriors so fragile? The woman’s face displays all the anger, rage and contempt that her boss has for us.]
You may have missed some of Wolf’s other points and many of them were significant. The current state of comedy is in fact all I have to hold onto. It’s where I learn to find perspective on the true state of our country.
She picked on the one part of Trump’s identity that is subject to shame and that is his supposed wealth. We can guess that their are two good reasons that the fake president does not want his taxes released. The most important of which is that they will show what a poor businessman he is, what a loser who started out with millions, looks like when he has to go to money launderer’s and vile dictators for loans. She said, “Trump is so broke he had to borrow money from the Russians and is now susceptible to blackmail and possibly responsible for collapse of the republic, yay.” Not the funniest joke but the best thumbnail analysis of the mess we’re in.
“But it turns out that Trump is the one pussy you’re not allowed to grab….he said it first, remember?” So while I hate the use of the term pussy to describe something that is weak since that so obviously isn’t true, in this case the use of it is brilliant, it’s a triple entendre, I think.
“Trump is racist though, he loves white nationalists which is a weird term for a Nazi. Calling a Nazi a white nationalist is like calling a pedophile a kid friend.” Great line to illustrate how we have softened the ways we describe the most vile people on the planet.
Her comments about Wall Street were perfect and described succinctly how our government colluded with financial criminals, thieves who have never been punished.
“Although I haven’t been sexually harassed [referring to her time working at Bear Stearns in 2008,] I’ve definitely been fucked. That whole company went down on me without my consent…and no men got in trouble for that one either.” Bada boom! Sexually explicit, not really but wow, pretty descriptive. With Michelle, the last throwaway line is always the kicker.
“Chappaquidick in theaters now” for instance reminds us of the ironies of our changing values. It refers of course to the ouster of Senator Al Franken in a moment of self-righteous panic. Think about how the discussions that are going on in the Senate now [if there any] would’ve looked if Franken were still there and try to hold that in your brain while you ponder what health care would’ve looked like without Ted Kennedy. But don’t think about it too long, you’ll get vertigo and end up “under a tree” hehe.
Did you miss this one, “You guys are going through cabinet members quicker than Starbucks throws out Black people, but don’t worry they’re having an afternoon, that’ll solve it.”
There were some jokes that while I couldn’t help but laugh, also worried my sense of political correctness like those about Mitch McConnell’s neck or Paul Ryan’s missing balls, probably cause I tend to think of having balls as having no sense but charging ahead anyway. That line was good for this crowd though since it gratified some while enraging others or maybe not-last throwaway line on him-“Yeah, bye Paul.” Does anyone even care anymore what that prick does? Oops.
To the Dems referring to the midterms, “You’re somehow gonna lose by 12 points to a guy named Jeff-Pedophile-Nazi-Doctor…oh, he’s a doctor?”
On Ivanka, since no one has freaked out yet on her picking on the First Daughter, I’ll remind you, “she’s done nothing to satisfy women-I guess like father like daughter….pause while they gasped…”oh you don’t think he’s good in bed, com’on.”
On the Handmaids’ Tale, “Mike pence if you haven’t seen it you would love it,” ok that’s VP Pence in a very small nutshell [do I feel a pun coming on, nah, I’ll leave that to Colbert. He loves dick jokes.]
She had excellent put downs of every cable news station and one beloved network show that takes itself way too seriously. You could figure out what is happening on This Is Us without any dialogue if all you did was listen to its lugubrious soundtrack. And then she got to our beloved Rachel, “watching Rachel Maddow is like going to Target. You went in for milk but you left with shampoo, candles and the entire history of the Byzantine Empire.” Is it possible to write a better critique of what went wrong with the Maddow show?
“And of course, Megyn Kelly. What would I do without Megyn Kelly…ah probably be more proud of women.” Boom.
You probably heard the comments she made on how the media gave us Trump and why they don’t cover anything but him, best lines, “You guys are obsessed with Trump. Did you used to date him? Because you pretend that you hate him but I think you love him.” Nailed it.
Ending with, “Goodnight. Flint still doesn’t have clean water!”
After which Trump tweeted that the the WHC dinner “is dead as we know it.” In the interests of keeping the press alive, I have to agree. The need for access and “civility” that only flows one way, the obscene comradery between celebrity reporters, CEOs and the Trump crime family all swishing out in their designer finery has absolutely nothing in common with reporters who eke out stories in our local papers or even TV reporters who have to carry their own cameras much less those of us who follow and investigate the news for nothing after Wall Street emptied the press rooms around the towns, cities-and the foreign offices where people die trying to get their story.
Speaking of that, Dana Milbank excoriated Ms. Wolf the day after, saying that instead there should just be a ceremony eulogizing the journalists who died in the line of duty. Yeah, lots of folks will watch that, Dana [are you sad cause your mom named you that?] Yeah, and those of us out here who know we are under attack from this regime, experienced a cathartic moment hearing the truth told by this squeeky-voiced lady and we deserve at least that.
But if you desire civility with Nazis and in any way see yourselves on the same side as them, we don’t. It’s not an existential threat. That’s way too pretty and removed from what we’re experiencing-the list is too long to enumerate-it’s a very real threat. We don’t want to work alongside those who would destroy our environment, our rights, our families, and our hope.
Lest we get lulled into a stupor by the horror of it all, we need a regular dose of affirmations like this, succinct clear representations of what we are up against and why we need to continue resisting it all. You can say Michelle was mean but I felt the love. It radiated over the tops of the heads of the bourgeoisie all the way to the children of Flint. Those of you “clutching your pearls,” can grow a real pussy.