Women Running–Balls, Likeability or Something Else?

As Samantha Bee said on her show, Full Frontal, we have an embarassment of riches this time around with all the female candidates in the running for president in 2020. There’s Elizabeth Warren, Kamala Harris, Kirsten Gillibrand, and maybe Amy Lobluchar and oh yeah, Tulsi Gabbard.

I’m sure you’ve read that the first three were already greeted by the media with questions about their “likability.” While many of the newly elected crop of women in the Congress were asked when running, I’m still finding this hard to believe, who would be taking care of the family at home.

Ok let me be clear, taking care of the family is a very important job. In my life it has been my most important job, not the least because I had to do it alone. In fact, there were many times I thought of running for office when a question like, “will you have to miss any of my soccer games?” stopped me in my tracks. [Singles moms have extra duties-not to mention far fewer financial supports which can prevent us from doing some things–but we can still make our mark.]

So, yeah, family raising can and should be a shared responsibility and running for office can also be abetted by supportive spouses as Brad Erickson has demonstrated so well- https://draketalkoakland.com/2019/01/20/a-blog-to-celebrate-the-womens-march-how-to-support-your-partner-when-shes-running-for-office/.

In this moment of stark dichotomies, when the most macho sounding, abusive, and knuckle dragging dingbot can run and win the highest office in the land; meanwhile the most diverse, progressive group of young women can win a place in Congress-many who had never achieved a previous elected office-isn’t it time to view strength and toughmindedness/flexibility and creativity in new ways?

Maybe we could even grant women the right to run with more experience than the most recent presidents (and many others like Dwight Eisenhower, George Bush, etc) but less than say, Joe Biden. Sorry, Joe, we know you too well.

Then there’s balls and who has them. I frequently see comments, even by women, like these on twitter, “Nancy Pelosi has the biggest balls in Congress,” and it makes me gag a little. Is it because of the crassness of the comment, yeah a little. And Nancy is tough, smart and strategic. She’s a mother of five and grandmother to many, ferkrissakes, those titles are NOT for the faint of heart or other parts of the anatomy. I don’t understand equating basic male genitalia with being smart, tough and strategic.

It’s curious that when we refer to someone as an asshole, they are often called a dick or a schmuck or some variation of a penis, one of the most delicate and volatile organs of the human body which shrinks at the least threat and recedes at the first sign of a frown.

But the balls, which are also delicate and extremely vulnerable to all kinds of offenses, are somehow a sign of bravery, courage and toughness. I beg to differ. I admit I’ve never had either organ though I have had lots of opportunities to test my theories and many good experiences to leave me feeling warm all over or-partially-but I do know what a pussy can do.

So when Trump the #grifterinchief made his famous “grab’em by the pussy” statement, I had a hard time actually visualizing him doing that-after I got over hurling my morning scone-it’s just not that easy whereas the opposite, doing painful damage to a man who is bothering you, draws an instant picture in almost everyone’s brain.

Think about it-pussies are protected (although vulnerable to toxic dicks), extremely flexible, and they produce results which are tangible and lifelong. They create life and if you’re a Christian, ahem, can do it without the assistance of a partner. Maybe what we need besides a New Green Deal is a New Pink Deal.

On the other hand, let’s look at the metaphors for men and adjust it to our current needs. A penis is a delicate and sensitive instrument which responds almost immediately to the needs of its partner and gives its all when called upon. It’s very concerned about instant gratification, it’s true, but it’s also capable of leaving a lasting legacy.

Lets’ look at our gender capabilities with new eyes and let’s not ask women to be more likable which only renders them impotent because our mixed messages are fucking everything up leaving us a barren wasteland of used….ok… I’ll stop analogizing before I make everyone throw up their morning scones or gluten free alternatives.

Remember, there is no perfect candidate or Mark Zuckerberg would have tried to invent them and Jeff Bezos would have delivered them to your door simultaneously to all your neighbors. You have twenty minutes to make your purchase, BTW, or it won’t be delivered till January, 2021, although our warehouse is overflowing, instant delivery is not guaranteed. Choose wisely, they rarely accept returns on damaged products [but, it’s rumored that impeachment is still an option.]


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